Pedals, Arrows and Spirit

I've Moved My Blog

2010-08-26T10:07:00.001-06:00

Please click here to redirect to my website, where I've been doing all my blogging for some time now.

Thanks!

Neil Hanson

http://neilhanson.com

May Snow

2010-05-11T10:57:00.000-06:00

Here we are approaching mid-May on the High Prairie, and the forecast is for snow tonight and tomorrow. It's cold and damp outside today.

The daylilies are looking so healthy and robust now, and the Iris are showing some fat buds. The Butterfly Bush are sending up shoots hoping for the warmth of summer to start sucking them faster from the ground.

But Mother Nature seems to be thinking about one last blast of winter. They're calling for a foot of snow at 6000'.

How strong will the daylilies and the iris be on Thursday I wonder? This is so sad, to see this forecast, and to know the fate that it holds for those plants who are betting on the promise of spring.

Mother Nature is a harsh mistress on the High Prairie...

Snow and saddles

2010-04-23T07:49:00.000-06:00

For the last few days as we have had nice weather, I've been thinking about how nice it is for the plants to get a real spring this year - one where they aren't demolished by a late April or early May snow that makes them burn lots of energy starting over. How nice it is to see healthy plants exploding from the ground in April.

Then, woke up to snow this morning. Not a lot yet, but you never know. If it doesn't pile up too much, and the temp doesn't drop too far into the 20's, most of them should be OK.

It makes me appreciate the resiliency of the plants that survive here, and their ability to face each new spring with fervor, with no idea what will happen. They just keep moving forward, growing, blooming, expanding.

And then my thoughts fall back to the new saddle that I put on my bike last weekend. The old saddle worked OK, though I knew that it wasn't the greatest design around for keeping pressure off of critical nerve areas and certainly lacked comfort after many hours in it. But I never thought about it - just kept riding it because it's what I know.

A saddle is such a personal thing, isn't it? Each year I go through the process of getting the sit-bones broken in to the saddle. There is predictability to the saddle, the pain it causes, and how it fits. It might not be perfect, but I know it, and know how it fits. Recently someone asked me about my saddle, and my response was the same as it always is: "Sure the saddle isn't perfect - it's a pain in the ass after enough hours in it - but I know how it is going to feel and how we react to one another."

But I made the leap last weekend and bought a new one. Now I have to go through the pain of breaking it in to my butt, and breaking my butt in to it.

It's new and unknown. A little scary, a little exciting.

As I begin the journey through the middle years of life, I realize that there are many aspects of my life that are like this. There may be some comfortable things that are not necessarily the healthiest for me - some habits that I need to change, maybe some different perspectives that I need to gain.

But like the plants that grow here on the high plains, I need to have the courage to keep growing and blooming, and not be overly concerned about the weather that might surprise me next week.

Post Snow and Bailout Gears

2010-03-29T07:25:00.001-06:00

Looped around Denver yesterday.

Once again, made me realize how lucky I am to live in a community that provides the sort of bike access that Denver does. Even though we got a couple of feet of snow last week in a couple different storms, the bike path was pretty busy. Amazing how well used that recreation infrastructure is.

Since the wind was supposed to turn around to the north, I didn't want to take the ride down toward the Springs and have to fight a north wind coming home. But as it turned out, it didn't turn until very late, so I could have done that ride. I had wanted to shy away from the bike path, because I expected there to be snow and ice at the edge of a lot of the underpasses like last week. But it was a bonus that there were very few spots with snow and ice.

Lunch at Confluence Park was just incredible really. Sunny and warm, lots of people watching, it was all I could do to get back on the bike and ride the last 40 miles home.

I've now done 2 rides on the new 7900 stuff. I have to say that the gearing with the compact and the 11-28 seems about ideal for me. I won't know until I start climbing about the climbing gears, but I've got to believe that I'll be able to hold that 28 tooth bailout gear in my pocket for that little extra sense of security on the long and steep ones - probably rarely use it but enjoy it just for the sense of security that it gives me. Funny how that works - when you've got that bailout gear in the back of your mind, it seems to help you exert even more and keep the effort and pace up even higher - knowing that if you really blew up, you could drop down into that tiny little thing and recover.

The Season's First Long Ride

2010-03-08T10:25:00.000-07:00

Last week I got 2 days of commuting in. That's about 45 miles RT on each of those days. While that's an OK day total, it's not breaking the hind-end into many hours on the bike. I consider 4 hours sort of a milestone to get across to call it a long ride - one that is callousing up the sit-bones. I'm hoping to keep up something like that pace of commuting for the next many months - twice a week as an average.

But the real work of long base miles has to happen on the weekends, and this weekend I got my first longer ride in. Just shy of 70 miles takes me on a loop around Denver, from Parker to Chatfield, then downtown, and back along Cherry Creek to Parker. My best time for that loop is a little under 3.5 hours - averaging a little over 20 mph. That's in a state of good fitness for me.

Saturday, for this ride, I needed to wait until about 10 to start, to let the temp get up to 40. That way, I can do the ride with a ls jersey and a windbreaker. Unfortunately, this meant that my timing of the loop, and the timing of the wind shifts during the day, would have me facing the wind for most of the ride. And in fact, this is exactly what happened.

That's OK though - I enjoyed the extra workout. And the big bonus for me was meeting my daughter downtown and having a nice lunch with her. It was a beautiful day. Total elapsed time was a little over 6 hours. Average speed 13.6 MPH. The new computer is nice, as it let me see that the total climbing for this ride is just under 2000'. I have always assumed that it was half that, since I start at 6000', then fall to about 5000', then climb back up. Just goes to show that the little ups and downs of a ride that feels pretty flat can add up more than you think.

Now, the forecast for this week sounds pretty iffy - I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Still working on coming up with a name for the big ride this summer.

Dave And Neil's Epic Ride (DANER?)

2010-02-22T18:54:00.000-07:00

February, cold and snowy. Again.

Usually in February we have a few days where the weather gets very spring-like, but it looks like we'll get through this one without that little gift.

Not a big deal really, but it's funny how missing that little teaser in February makes us all feel so tired of the snow and the winter. Worse, March and April are the snowy months, so it could get lots worse before it gets better.

Of course, I selfishly want the warm dry weather for training, as the snow and cold make it hard to spend much time on the bicycle. But its more than that really.

Like a dance, where you move close to intimate contact, but are held at bay, providing the jolt of excitement at feeling a tease of what might come later, but not quite touching it. In the same way, that little February tease always brings me quite close to the wonderful feelings of Spring that are just around the corner, but I can't quite touch...

Fingers crossed for just a couple days...

The Cell Phone and DWAD (Driving While Attention Deprived)

2010-02-21T18:24:00.001-07:00

Well, David at the FredCast on his 1/28/10 expanded on the topic of "safe operation" while attention deprived.

Specifically, we're talking about cell phones, and the idea of legislation to outlaw use of cell phones while driving. David's perspective is that we should NOT outlaw cell phone use - at least not hands-free cell phone use.

In general David, I agree with you. There are things that might not be wise, and might be slightly less safe than another way of doing things, but at what point do we stop short of legislating every detail of our life?

I do think that cell phone use - whether hands free or not - does reduce the attention that we are giving to driving. I think this happens to everyone - drivers both good and bad, skilled and less skilled. I think that getting into an argument about the degree to which this happens is frankly a pissing contest where nobody wins and everybody gets wet...

I think that it is very reasonable to expect that people give the appropriate amount of attention to the road, as required by the conditions at hand. Failure to do this should be an offense for which the driver is ticketed. There are many things that can take our attention from the road, as you so rightly point out, and the bottom line is that when someone is driving with less attention to the road than they should have, they should be ticketed.

Of course, this can be a sticky wicket, can't it? Who gets to make that judgement call? We have entrusted the local and state police with that authority, and while I am not always in agreement with the calls that they make, the bottom line is that we need to accept somebody's authority, right?

The reason for the lack of attention is not really important, is it? You are essentially driving while impaired, and most states have laws governing this. I can't tell you how many times I shake my head at someone who is driving along in the left lane of a multi-lane highway, completely oblivious to the traffic jam that they are creating by not adhering to the rules of the road and staying right except to pass. I wish these people would receive tickets to help them remember to pay attention. Or the soccer mom distracted by the kids in the back seat, or the animated conversation occurring on both sides of a front seat.

While driving down the road, it's easy to pick out the cars that are being operated by folks who are distracted by any number of things - I personally would like it a lot if these folks were pulled over and ticketed more often. If the source of their distraction was a cell phone - as it would often be - then perhaps the ticket will help them make better judgement calls next time.

And after all, it really is "driving while distracted" that we are concerned with, right?

I just get really tired of attempts to legislate every little piece of our lives. It's about responsibility really, and our responsibility to our fellow drivers on the road. When we fail to take that responsibility seriously and allow ourselves to become distracted beyond the point of reasonableness for the situation, then we should have our hands slapped for behaving irresponsibly.

I go back to the discussion of driving in bad conditions. An hour or two of driving on icy roads in white-out conditions will flat-out exhaust me. There's no way I would have ANY distractions in the truck under those conditions. However, to try and maintain that level of attention over an 8 hour drive would be absurd. We NEED distractions - we need to balance our mind out as we drive, right? And, part of being a responsible driver is knowing where that balance is for any set of circumstances.

Winter Sets Me Back

2010-02-12T12:35:00.000-07:00

I only got to commute once this week - today. The snow from last weekend and the remaining cold temps made 2-wheeled travel unlikely for me.

I have set the dates for this summer's epic rides, and now need to stay on the treadmill to get myself to the right level of fitness. I remain confident - I think that I can take a couple of weather setbacks like this in February - will probably even end up with one or two in March.

For the rides:

We will for sure be leaving the weekend of the Triple Bypass, headed east. We have 3 alternate routes established from Denver to either Kansas City or Springfield (MO). Rides will be something between 600 and 700 miles, and we have a week to get them done. We are going to try and target a double century in there someplace if the weather cooperates.
Two weeks later, we will do a ride in the mountains - exact route TBD but we have 2 or 3 we are considering. They are all over 150 miles with significant climbing.

I'm really excited about this - gives me a target to train for.

First Commute of the Year

2010-02-04T07:27:00.000-07:00

Tuesday morning did the first commute of the year. Tried a new route that utilized some roads, and that cut the distance down to about 21 miles.

Funny to me how that all came down. It struck me as I passed the bus station at 9 mile that I could cut through the bus station, cross Parker road at Peoria, and just head up Peoria and wiggle through side streets over to work. While I wasn't sure exactly how I would get through, I was positive that I would be able to find a route.

So I left the quiet trail, and headed up the street, assuming that it would save me some time, albeit at the cost of dodging a little traffic.

Well, the traffic wasn't all that bad, as it was a little past rush hour. I did follow a bike path for half a mile or so, and had to walk across some icy spots. As I was doing that, I was happy I had gone that way, not sure if my normal route that utilized so much bike path might be pretty icy in spots.

My toes got pretty cold, but the rest of me stayed nice and toasty. Temp was about 25 - maybe a little lower in spots.

So here's the interesting part: Thinking about the route at work, I felt I had cheated myself just a bit. Dealing with traffic and exhaust just felt like too high a price to pay for the shorter route. Plus, while I am OK with the shorter route right now, as the season progresses, it is really miles in the saddle that I need anyway. It became really clear that while I had found an acceptable route, I would probably want to use it only in emergency.

Of course, a meeting ran long in the afternoon, and I got away later than I wanted, I was worried that I would be overtaken by the dark before I got home, so I took the same route back home. It was rush hour by then, and the traffic was a pain. And in fact, I was still overtaken by dark, so I am really glad that I took the shorter route to reduce the amount of time in the dark.

Interesting observation: Drivers seem to be more tolerant and cordial to bicycles when it is really cold - they must feel sorry for us?

Note to self: Get better lights!

Organized Rides Falling Through for the Summer

2010-02-01T10:47:00.000-07:00

Such a disappointing bunch of news this weekend. The Boulder Gran Fondo that we were going to ride in April has cancelled, as has the big one in Steamboat Springs for August.

So, looks like my big rides this year need to be unsupported deals. The "supported" aspect of a ride is really not the most appealing for me - it is the fact that I have shelled out money and have a committment to do a particular ride on a particular date, which forces me into some level of fitness discipline in order to avoid pain and embarrassment.

So, I will just need to find the self-discipline to do the training for some unsupported rides.

I do have the Iron Horse Classic at the end of May, and assuring fitness for that will help for sure. However, as I started looking at potential routes this weekend, it became clear to me that what I really want to do this year is tackle something bigger than the Triple Bypass - I really want to do a bigger ride.

So, I've been looking at a few routes. I either want to target a double-century thus summer, or else a mountain ride with significant climbing that is over 150 miles. Certainly possible to get both done this summer. To get there, I know that I need to be doing my first century rides in April, which is earlier than I have done them in the past. I will need to be doing the 110 miles Conifer/Morrison loop in May, and will need to expand that and find a loop with even more climbing and higher miles to be doing in July.

Rode the Canterbury loop on Saturday - that's twice in January. Short loop but at least it's some saddle time.

More on Riding with iPods

2010-01-27T10:15:00.000-07:00

Someone asked again about the whole notion of listening to the IPOD while riding your bike - should there be "laws" regulating it?

Like so many things, people get all whacked out about things and don't keep them in perspective.
Without a doubt, listening to stuff takes your attention from the task at hand, making you less proficient at the task at hand.

Period.

So what? Do we outlaw radios in cars? Do we make it illegal to have a conversation with your passenger while you drive a car?

People do this stuff to take their mind off what they are doing. I listen to all sorts of stuff while driving in the truck, (including FredCast), to give my mind something to do besides be numbed into senselessness by the traffic around me. No doubt in my mind that doing so makes me a less safe driver. Exactly why - when the weather gets really nasty - I drive in silence. I also talk on the phone while I drive - I know I am a bad person for doing this according to some people. But put this all in perspective. Creating more safety on the road can be achieved by outlawing all distractions. I just don't think we want to go that far - I think we are willing to accept some risk as a culture - what price are we willing to pay for total safety?

All this logic above is exactly why I DON'T listen to my iPod while I ride. I LOVE riding my bike. Just handling it getting ready for a ride makes me feel good and look forward to the ride. Why on earth would I numb myself to the great joy that I get from riding? Why would I distract myself? I have a couple of buddies who I ride with, who on long rides (as-in 6 or 8 hours) will listen to their iPod. When they do this, it really separates them from me on the ride - I might as well be riding alone. The minor little chatter that happens as you ride, the extended conversations, all of that falls by the wayside.

So, my opinion is to leave the iPod in the truck, and ride the bike. There are so many aspects of our life where we cut ourselves off from the people around us, and fall into this media world that we plug ourselves into. We need to find more ways to plug into the world around us, and the people around us, instead of shutting them out with earphones.

But for heavens sake, this is not something to be legislated. The last thing we need is more invasion into how we live our lives by legislative agencies. Sure we sacrifice a little safety, but look around at all the other places in your life where you do that gladly. Leave the iPod at home because you'll enjoy the ride more, and you'll enjoy your friends more.

Plus, all that sweat just can't be good for those things. :-)

A January Ride

2010-01-23T12:23:00.000-07:00

I got lucky yesterday - the temp was 50, so I went for a little ride.

My short loop through Canterbury.

The wind was strong, but I stayed nice and warm thanks to the right layers and new gloves.

I felt much better than I expected on the climbing that is part of that loop. I think that I am starting this year off with reasonable shape in January. If I can only hold on to this and build from it.

I have been talking to some folks about putting together an alternative ride to the Triple this year, since that was such a mess. I'm thinking that if 20 or 30 of us got together the weekend before or after, we could pay somebody to do food support, and have a great time at it. Folks kick in $20 or $30 apiece, and have watermelon and other good food waiting at important places. Sagging would be possible too if we paid someone to drive a truck with tools for minor repairs if needed.

Would need to stay somewhat together, but I think that if we had an A group and a B group, we could make it work.

Would love to find folks interested.

Shame on Team Evergreen

2010-01-23T12:16:00.000-07:00

OK, I have come to grips with the fact that Team Evergreen took advantage of many of us this year with their new approach to membership. The scam is simple:

To save money and ride the Triple Bypass in July, you need to be a member of Team Evergreen.
In the past, you could pay your membership dues as part of the signup for the ride.
This year, they changed it so you had to renew or join early - a week before the ride signup occurred.
This means that they would secure membership money from you, even if you were not successful in getting registered for the ride.
Registration for the ride filled up in less than an hour - lots and lots of folks were left out in the cold.
But Team Evergreen secured their dues from us ahead of time. A scam beautiful in its simplicity.

I wrote them expressing my displeasure at this obvious scam. Obviously, they have not written back. I don't expect them to. I expect they are smiling all the way to the bank on this one.

Shame, shame, shame.

The iPod and Imposed Safety

2009-12-09T10:36:00.000-07:00

I'm still having trouble finding a bike at the gym that works well for me.

I listened to an article about a guy talking through all the mistakes you can make in weight training if you are a bike rider. He was pretty much saying that everything that I was doing was wrong. Bummer. But, rather than pay him money (which was his goal) and hire his company to correct me, I think I will just try and incorporate some of the stuff that he said into my routine.

So, yesterday afternoon, I added some standing squats as the first thing after the bike ride. Will work the weights up - I think I was doing about 130 or 140 yesterday. Amazing how much more total energy those take - home much more winded you are after each set. Then I do some sitting squats on a machine, then some leg extensions. By the time I get to the leg extensions, the quads really scream. My logic is that most of the hard work is done early in the standing then sitting squats, so I am not overbuilding the quads with the extensions. I'm probably full of bologna...

Also hit a sit-up milestone - got over 400 my something. I sort of lost track, but know for sure I was over 400.

Also signed up for the Iron Horse Classic in Durango in May. I find that I really need those upcoming milestones to force me to improve my fitness. Without that stuff, it is just too easy to "put it off". With the January backcountry trip coming up with my son, if forced me to get started in November on building the fitness level, then these next milestones will force me to keep it going.

The backcountry trip is a big deal. I have learned the hard way that I am putting not only my life but the lives of others around me at risk, and it is just not OK to approach these trips casually. Last year I caused a real problem (though not with lack of fitness - just with a really bad judgement call), and I really want to make sure that I never do that sort of thing again. The cold is bad enough - I have to work hard to make sure that I don't let my body temp drop in the extreme conditions - but then if you add onto that any lack of fitness or preparedness, it is just the height of irresponsibility. More about the adventure last year in another post...

Listening to the Fredcast podcast, he asked a question about whether or not we should be outlawing the use of headphones while we ride. Made me think. I actually sent him an email with some feedback.

Here is the deal. I think that we all listen to the iPod (I will use that term generically as-in "Davenport" or "Frigidair") for different reasons. The issue at hand is whether or not the use of the iPod is distracting, and creates more danger on the road because of this distraction. If the answer is yes - that there is increased danger because of the distraction - should we then legislate the use of the items as a way to increase safety and reduce risk.

My Soapbox - the whole risk thing and the government's role in reducing risk.

The government should prevent lasting and mortal damage to one individual (or group) by another individual (or group), to a reasonable extent. That is the key word - "reasonable".

In this case, it is silly to think that listening to the iPod doesn't create a distraction. Get real - that's why people plug in to them - for the distraction in one way or another. Is a more distracted rider less safe than a less distracted rider? Of course. However, the greatest risk is posed to the rider themselves - not the government's job to force me to reduce my risk to myself.

Just like the bike helmet laws - or any helmet law for that matter. It is not the government's job to force me to wear this stuff. This should be my decision.

So, short answer - heck no don't legislate this.

But guess what, I ALWAYS wear a helmet. And I rarely (can't even remember the last time) listen to the iPod while I ride. I DO listen to the iPod while I work out - because I want the distraction.

But I LOVE to ride my bike. I have ridden bikes for 50 years in one way or another, and I still love it. Even on a grueling "survival" ride like the Triple Bypass, I love the riding. I love the sounds and sights and feelings. I love the thinking that happens while I ride. I love it all. (Well, OK, maybe 8 hours into a "survival" ride there isn't a lot of love happening, but later than night it is there for sure, and the next day...) So, why on earth would I plug an iPod into my ears while I ride, and distract me from this thing that I love doing? Just doesn't make any sense to me.

Some of the buddies that I ride with have taken to listening while they ride. Good manners and a conservative nature keep me from telling them I think this is stupid, but it really is kind of a slap in the face. I ride by myself a lot - probably most riders do. If I take a ride with a buddy, then it just seems like good manners to ride with the buddy - not to close myself into this little bubble with an iPod. When my buddy Ted started wearing them, it took me a while to get used to the fact that I might say something to him and he wouldn't hear because of the iPod. I find that now when I ride with him and I know that he is "wearing", I pretty much behave as-if I am riding alone, and that he just happens to be another rider riding close to me. If he has something to say or wants to talk, then he takes the headphones off and initiates conversation. We ride "together" for a while, until he plugs back in, at which point I am riding alone again. This is really a sad thing, isn't it? It just goes along with this whole disconnection that we have been going through as a culture.

Oh well, I think I am swimming upstream on this one.

Sort of reminds me of a friend I had in high school. Early on, we were young boys, and experimented with lots of different ways to rebel against whatever needed rebelling against at the time - usually anything that smelled like authority. Drugs and booze were certainly part of that. For me, it was just a learning experience, and I learned a couple of things. First I learned that this stuff reduced my "control" over myself, and I didn't like that. Second, I learned that this stuff reduced my ability to "be" where I was, and I didn't like that. Paul (my aforementioned friend), on the other hand, found that he loved all of that stuff. We remained friends, but drifted in different directions. We used to hunt together on his uncle's farm. I'll never forget the last time I hunted with Paul. I picked him up at his house well before dawn. I sat on his bed and watched as he injected himself with something he was addicted to. He mostly slept as we drove to the farm. I remember he spent most of the day making sure that he stayed high - usually he stayed and "rested" someplace while I hunted. I remember clearly seeing the giant difference between us, and realizing that we would probably not hang out together anymore.

The last time I saw Paul he was out on parole. I don't think the parole lasted long - I think that he ended up back in jail fairly soon.

For Paul - for whatever reason - life was something to escape from. He used drugs to escape. For me, spending the day in the field was heaven. I loved hunting, and loved being "in" the field, truly experiencing the woods and meadows and wildlife around me. Why on earth would I dull this experience that I loved?

It is the same with the iPod - and media in general - today. We use "The Box" as our new G-d or our new Drug. We can't let ourselves unplug and "be" where we are - we have to tether ourselves to "The Box".

So, each of us should decide - not the government. If a person "needs" the iPod while they ride, I guess I've gotta ask why. They must not love the riding in the same way I love the riding, or they wouldn't drug-up to do it.

Next: More on the whole "government imposing safety" thing...

3 December workout thoughts

2009-12-03T11:03:00.000-07:00

Thursday, 12/3:

High today was about 13, so no time in the saddle. However, had a decent workout for about 90 minutes. Just starting to use the weight machines for the legs.

I'm starting to feel stronger - that nice tightness in the legs between workouts. I would sure like to be able to find the time to work on upper body groups too, but that just doesn't seem real likely right now.

Sit-ups - did 200 first set, 100 second set, then stopped. In between while resting, did bicep curls with little weight - 10lbs first set, 12lbs second set.

The workouts at the gym serve the purpose of helping me stay in shape, but I just can't find that "zone of presence" - that thing that this is all about. So, I will continue to use this little blog as my point of accountability to use the gym for that purpose, while waiting for the opportunity to participate in some ZOP (Zone of Presence - I like that!)

Talked to my brother last night about potential fishing trips. I think he has resigned himself to no more fishing until spring. I keep looking at the power plant lake at Council Grove, thinking that we can probably fish the smallies all winter there. I really want to get out on some water.

What is it about the thought of fishing that is so attractive to me? For sure I like the "preparation" stuff - the rituals that are associated with the fishing. For both fishing and hunting, these "preparation rituals" are a gigantic part of the activity for me. Getting all geeky over which lines I want to keep in my tackle, when I will use them, what baits and lures I think I want to try out, listening to podcasts to learn as much as I can from other guys. This is big stuff to me.

So, I'll keep thinking about it, and wondering if we will get a chance to get out this winter or not for the smallies.

One last thought. Why did the Honeylocust keep their leaves so long this year I wonder? I am looking out my office window, watching the birds on the feeders in front, and noticing again that here in December, the Honeylocust leaves are still about 50% attached to the trees. Brown and dormant of course, but like the White Oaks, a good portion of the dormant leaves are still attached.

The Training Plan

2009-12-02T13:01:00.000-07:00

For the last 3 or 4 years, I have been pretty busy making excuses for why my fitness level is less than it should be. It was probably 4 years ago (maybe it was 5...) that I had a kick-ass summer, and was in great shape. I felt like I kept up with all but the best on the climbs, and was rarely passed on the flats. I felt like a machine.

Then, in the fall, I ended up in the hospital with what the docs insisted was a heart attack. Long story short, after spending the night in Intensive Care, the docs did one of the catheder deals to watch the blood flow around my heart, and discovered arteries that were clear as mountain morning air. But, they also found that an enlarged heart was squeezing an artery that runs along the front of the heart, which is what created the psuedo heart-attack. Funny thing - the doc took my wife aside to ask about drug use - apparently some recreational drugs enlarge the heart. Nope, she was pretty sure that wasn't the issue.

Turns out, prolonged intense exercise also enlarges the heart. Duh. Note to self: Maybe cut back on the intensity of the training...

So that became a great excuse for me, and while my mind still thought of my body as the fit machine that climbed those Italian Alps, my body was rapidly progressing toward a lesser and lesser state of fitness, and I constantly justified a lower workout regiment with the whole enlarged heart thing.

I flaked out on a couple of backcountry ski trips in the winter for various reasons, but the reality was that I was not really fit enough to keep up with the younger guys in the trip. I barely survived some long and grueling endurance rides - rides that I should have survived much more easily than I did and not slowed down my buddies.

Then, this fall, my job situation changed, and I had some time on my hands. I started to ride a bit more - trying to find 2 days a week when the weather would let me ride. I have managed to avoid the big "November Gain" that usually happens to my waistline. I am headed toward avoiding the even worse "December Gain" that usually happens. I have a backcountry trip scheduled for early January, and 6 weeks before the trip, I am actually feeling pretty good about being able to perform well.

So now, I find myself beginning to focus on next summer, and what level of fitness I might be able to achieve by May. I find myself looking at rides that I have avoided for the last several years, thinking, maybe...

So I'll keep a log of how I am coming against these lofty sights. The snow is falling outside, and the temp is about 10 degrees. No riding for the next few days - it will be workouts in the gym for me for the next week I am afraid.

Yesterday, I was able to get out for a quick Canterbury spin before the weather turned bad. Only a 30 minute spin, with a bit of climbing. Tried wearing the warm kit, but it is still (and has always been) too small for me. I need to give that one away - I have no idea what I was thinking when I bought it...

The Beginning

2009-12-02T11:29:00.000-07:00

It was on a bike ride recently that I came to understand something really foundational to myself.

Here it is:

People pay me to manage projects of transition, and to think strategically. They pay me to move them forward toward something. I am very good at this – seeing future possibilities and good ways to achieve these future possibilities.
I talk lots about things like learning to focus on the here-and-now, and learning to really experience “the present moment”, but I am really lousy at it.
I have a very “addictive” personality, and this leads me to become very passionately involved in “hobbies” in my life.

So, the above facts sort-of bounced around in my brain for years, and I kept them very separate from each other. My life continued to roll frantically down a path that kept me always focused on the things that people pay me to do well, while at the same time deep inside I realized that I needed to get better at living in the moment. These things seemed very much at odds with one-another, but I never really thought much about it.

It was that third fact that would join the two pieces together, though it took a bike ride on a beautiful Colorado Autumn day to allow my brain to let that fusion occur.

Here is the scene:

I was 45 minutes or so into a ride. It is a common ride – one that I take often. I call it the Crowfoot ride, since it follows a road called Crowfoot Valley Road for much of the ride. It is perfect in that it is slightly uphill for the first 10 minutes or so, then starts to slant more and more upward, until finally it climbs at a nice steep pace for 10 or 15 minutes. Then it flattens quite a bit, but still uphill, for another 5 – 10 minutes. Then you turn around, and head back, and the joy begins as a reward for all the work to this point. I head south going out and up, then turn back north for the ride home. So, this is the perfect ride when there is a south wind. On this day, there was a wonderful south wind.

I had worked really hard all the way out. After making the turn and heading back, it became an easy 25 MPH ride along the ridge with a tailwind. This is such joy for a bike rider – a nice tailwind. I hit the steep downhill, tucked, and flew down at 45 MPH+, letting the bike slow to 30 MPH as the hill decreased.

My G-d, I thought, what is it that I love so much about this? Pure clarity, nothing else on my mind, wonderful ideas popping in occasionally to be mulled around in the idea polisher of my little brain.

And right then, the realization crystallized like a bright shining stone falling out of the polisher. All of my “passions” had this thing in common – they allowed me to focus completely on the thing that I was doing, and within that focus and presence, a joy and peace seeped out and surrounded me with a feeling that I longed for in my life. Those were the moments when the magic presented itself.

And from that realization – from that polished little stone of understanding falling out of the tumbling little mess that is my brain, was born the understanding that this little log of ideas – this blog – was the place where I could process those ideas into words that I could remember.